Saturday, December 31, 2011

The End, and a Beginning.

The year 2011 has finally come to an end.

I have been waiting for this, not because my times will change overnight or life will be brand new again. But I wanted this day to come, because a New Year brings with it a feeling...of an end, and a beginning.

The year 2011 brought about changes in my life that I could have not imagined, or wanted. Harsh decisions, unwanted struggle, and a string of complications which I could never see myself facing, the year wasn't the best times I have faced. 

And when things go wrong, you really aren't at your sensible best. You tend to go weak. You tend to avoid confrontations, avoid the bad situations, avoid truth. You need a strong provocation to get back on your feet, get sensible, and ready to face the challenges again.

And that's why the onset of The New Year is special. It brings me to a place, where I stand and look back and introspect. I want to see what went wrong, analyze why it went wrong and figure out what I need to do. I want to put a closure to things that I don't wish to carry on with me. I want to lighten the burden on my mind and want to figure a way out for as many problems as I can, before I step into the new year. I like the feeling of closing all the open items, and keeping them aside, forever. 

This time of the year, brings hope. Of change, of leaving behind the things and moving ahead, of doing something to sort yourself out.

My problems are still there, but as the year changes at this hour, I feel, perhaps I will be able to put the bad times behind. I will be able to move on. I will be able to figure out a way, and become a better, stronger person.

On that note, Cheers to HOPE. :)



Sunday, August 7, 2011

Friendship Day

I don't know if I ever can write a dedicated post on Friendship Day without using all the possible cliches that take rounds about Friends and Friendship. And still, here I am, writing down my thoughts because when it comes to my Friends, I wouldn't want to miss out on any chance to tell them just how AWESOME they all are! :)

Friendship Day overwhelms me. Because I am one of those lucky ones who knows what it feels like to be taken care of all the time, to be pampered all the time, to have a support system which has a 24x7 call service, where I can simply dial in and get cheered up in the worst times of my life. I have friends who listen to me, who talk to me, who fight with me, who take care of me, who pray for me and who want the best for me.

Yes, my friends are my pride, my strength and one of the reasons I can pull off a big smile on my face anytime. I feel blessed.

Happy Friendship Day to one and all. I hope all of you get friends as awesome as I do. More importantly I hope I can be as good a friend to them as they are / have been to me! :) :) :) 

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Stories

There is a reason why they keep talking about living up each and every moment of your life. If life is a book, it's pages are filled with unfinished stories. Take a look yourself, so many people who came into your life, with who you spent the most wonderful times and who seemed such an important part of you and your routine then, are not with you anymore. And it's not because something went bad. It's just because life keeps moving on. The only thing that stays with you about them are their memories.

And that's why, never stop making memories. Meet people, share that part of your life with them, believe in them and totally live those times with them. You never know where that one friend of yours will be after some time.

We tend to focus only on the main and big story of our life. What's my career like, what's my love life like, what's my future like. While worrying about ourselves, we tend to consider all the other people as side characters. Which is so unfair. We should give importance to each and every chapter that we live. Every story and character is important. Few will remain till the end, few will give a special appearance and leave. But each and every one will add some meaning to your life story.

Circumstances and people change all the time. And a lot of stories will remain unfinished for you. Make sure those stories, even if unfinished, end up making you feel alive, and complete. :)

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Love yourself!

We all live in a society, with people. However, the same society only believes in bringing us down. If we think about it, how many times has this society really inspired us, made us feel great about ourselves, or given us that much needed motivation and support to do something great with our lives? Whenever we have decided on anything, we've only come across hurdles. One brave decision from your end and you see a stream of neighbors, relatives and acquaintances judging you and making life really blissful! Filmy, but true. World is a cruel place. Therefore, it really strikes a chord with me when Barney Stinson says: "When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead."

One must learn how to appreciate, respect and love oneself. Love that person you are. Be in charge       of your emotions. Pamper your mind and heart. It's okay, we all go through trials and tribulations of life. But don't kill yourself for them. Phases come and go, people come and go, you win some, you lose some. The least you can do is be nice to yourself. It's a difficult task to be in control of your thoughts and emotions, but those who have learned it, will know, how special a gift it has been for them. 

Doesn't mean you should restrict yourself. If happy, dance...if sad, cry! But there has to be an extent to which you should put your mind and soul through negativity. Take your time to get over the severe blows that life gives you, but keep trying to come out of them. Only you can take care of yourself, no will else is going to do that for you. Your friends, family and life partner will be there, but how much can you depend on others for feeling right? Too much dependability only makes you weaker. Cherish those relationships you have, they are God's gifts. But learn to live without them too. Learn to be happy with yourself and keep trying to make yourself better and stronger. This world likes to be with the confident and self made ones.

And anyway, how much of load are you willing to dump on your mind? After all, out of those people you cherish right now, only 15 percent will live up to your expectations. The remaining 85 percent are going to break your heart, betray you, or leave you unsettled. Are you ready for that? You do that math! :)

Monday, May 9, 2011

Monday, May 2, 2011

Thinking basics.


We humans, as a breed, are captives of our own thoughts. Be it wishing for something, anticipating something or crying over something. We all are so used to letting these thoughts take over our mind.  

Don't get me wrong, thinking isn't bad. It keeps us looking forward to things. But there's a difference between wasting your mind space in irrelevant thoughts and  presiding over the relevant ones. And often the rare right ones get overshadowed by the thousands of wrong ones in that space. That's where it becomes important to declutter your mind.

Easier said than done, I know. But then certain approaches might help you. For eg. most of our time is spent in yearning for something or the other. Our aspirations, wishes etc. take a toll over our minds. We pray for them to happen, we get scared in anticipation of results, and then we cry about them if they don't.


However, a different outlook towards it can work it out.  If you KNOW that fulfilling your wish is beyond your capacity, just let it be. Pray for it, hope for the best, but let it be. Because, no matter how much you worry about it, it will happen in its own time, in its own way. On the other hand, if you think you can do something about it, then START DOING it. Act on it. This way, you will know why it happen, whatever happened. Atleast you won't end up being in a clutter of confused thoughts which actually belong nowhere.

Another major torture that we inflict upon our mind - Baggages. We all have them, but it's upto us to decide how long we want to carry them. Stop your mind from thinking about things over and over again. Control your thoughts. Refuse to think about negative things whenever they come to your mind to haunt you. Distract yourself. Keep yourself busy. Or simply speak to yourself and ask those thoughts to get lost-OUT LOUD! It works. Really.

I am not asking to devoid yourself of emotions. It's all okay. We all got to live afterall. We all ought to feel, love, hate, get annoyed, get angry all the time. We're human. But we can surely decide 'Enough is enough' at some point. Afterall why to scar our mind and soul with impressions which won't even matter to you?


Once you're there, in control of your thoughts, you will find newer realms where your mind would like to wander albeit in a constructive way. When I got this advice, I found it the most difficult thing to follow, for 2 weeks. Once achieved, it's the most soothing state of mind you can be in. I hope this post actually helps whoever finds it relevant. Those who didn't find it relevant, just ask your best friends if they think you need to consider it. Afterall they are the ones who've been listening to you cribbing and whining all along. ;)

Peace. :)


Tuesday, March 8, 2011

"Woman's" day!

It's Woman's Day. This day overwhelms me. I mean...there are so many things I feel this day. The world celebrates Woman's Day. Look, we have 'WOMEN' making it to the top in every field. They are becoming entrepreneurs, they are mangers, they are home-makers, they are gold medalists...and so on and so forth. Strength of a woman, Go Woman! All these things only make me feel weird about being a woman.

Because I think, we live in a world where if a woman makes it big, it's a big deal. "She is a Woman, YET she made it big". If a woman fails to do so, it won't be said, 'She doesn't have what it takes', it will be 'Women don't have what it takes'. Look around yourself. If there's a dumb girl right next to you doing dumb deeds for obvious reasons, your friends are going to say, "Women are dumb, here's another example". They could easily say, "She is dumb" but they won't. If you see a woman driving carelessly, the immediate reaction will be, "Why do women drive?". Do you get what I am saying? If a woman makes a mistake, or acts dumb, or simply goes bonkers while driving, it's not her being blamed, it's all the women in the world getting stereotyped.

To be honest, how many intelligent 'men' do we really see around? Try and recall all those dimwit idiots with those pathetic pick up lines, or inflated egos, no sense of humor, no intellect etc. All those local romeos who stare/letch at anyone who happens to be a woman, age no bar. How many women are there in the daily accidents that happen on roads? Remember...all those smashed heads of those reckless bikers? Or the crushed cars and autos thanks to the truck drivers? Yeah, men are bad drivers too.

And even if women have inborn poor direction or driving skills...so what? Let it be. How many times have women blamed men for having absolutely ghastly cooking skills, or poor cleanliness sense? It's all okay. Women are good at few things, men are good at others. Rest all the things can be tried and tested by both genders, why categorize a woman for everything she does or doesn't?

I will be happy when women too can live in the world without being 'noticed' or 'celebrated'. Just like men. Because women aren't something that different after all.

Women too feel like men, react like men, have less or more brains like men, have superb or pathetic driving skills like men, have great or awful dressing sense like men, have different intellectual levels like men.

If you want to pass judgements sitting on your chair next time, pass it on that person. Don't generalize. Women are better off without your special remarks about this gender. If you do, don't jump around whining when tagged as an MCP. And that won't be a wrong judgement too, because the women around you will only call YOU one. ;)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Something nice about Valentine's day...

I have always been way too practical and logical about everything. When it comes to celebrating Valentine's day, I had the age old approach to it which explains how it's irrelevant to celebrate this day. You know, the entire - "if you love someone, you love the person everyday, why need a specific day to celebrate it?"

Well, I think I finally have an answer. Celebrate this day, because in an entire year, you deserve to have one day, where you can say, "to hell with the rest of the world, this day is about the one I love."

That's it. You don't have that approach towards love in the rest of 364 days of the year. People, society, office, responsibilities...etc. will surely take enough energy out of you to be that open about your feelings. Life is exhausting. Therefore, it's really great that one single day, you tend to forget everything, keep everything aside and dedicate it to your feelings for someone.

This day is nothing but a break. I think it's nice.

:)

Friday, February 11, 2011

"I am over you."

Ever heard of the phenomenon,'Closure'? It's supposed to have different interpretations. I recently learnt,to be happy one has to know how to put a closure to things. i.e. Get over things. Get over people who let you down, get over episodes and events that bog you down, get over feeling etc.

I am a clingy person. I cling to things. To people, to events, to truth, to values. I get too attached. I work very hard to maintain what I have. It's the most unhealthy principle you can load yourself with.

It's easier to get over issues, it's difficult to get over people. Atleast for me, it's been absolutely impossible to forgive or forget people who let me down.

However, no point in feeling hurt. If someone hurts you or lets you down, it's because he/she didn't care enough. Yes, it is THAT simple.

So what do we do to let it go? As Rachel says it in FRIENDS, you get a closure when you do something that helps you finally say, "I am over you."

But we tend to never do it. Our faith in that person or ourselves makes us believe that it could never go wrong. That's when we tend to go in the denial mode. That's when we start getting angry and vengeful. That's when we get hurt.

All I am saying is, be real. Accept that you're not the most important of all for anybody. If you're lucky enough, you will have a person who will stand by you for your entire life, else, just live with the fact, that you expected too much. The moment you decide to stop expecting from that person or situation, you take control of your life all over again.

Next time, you get hurt or betrayed, be proud of the fact that atleast you were the one giving flawless love and attention to someone. It's only because you cared too much and trusted blindly, that the other person was able to break your faith. If you cling on to it, you're giving him the attention that he doesn't deserve.

Finally, just let it be. Things happen. Try to forget. If that's not possible, just leave it behind.

Move on, because even if you decide not to, life will!

Friday, January 7, 2011

Religion - As I take it!

"Religion". Those of you reading this, come across this word everyday, a lot of times. For you all, it's just another term we all have learnt to live with. We know it is going to appear in newspapers, in the news channels, very casually. Honor killings, Terror strikes, Riots et al. remind us that we live in the world with many faiths. But then that's it. "Religion", this one term that should have been the most revered one, reverberates in our minds for all the wrong reasons.

For me, on the other hand, this term has deeper meanings. I am not the one chanting verses from The Gita or humming shloks and mantras all the time, yet for me, "religion" will decide the course of my life. I am not happy with it. Anyway, this post is not about my situation.

Talking religion, for me, religion's role should begin and end with 2 words: 'Peace' and 'Spirituality'. That's it. The words mentioned above result in discipline, faith and harmony. Rest of the things: Festivities, rituals, functions, let these be a part of our tradition, our culture. I don't know the nitty gritties of most of the religions around me. What I do know is, if a person is killing others citing religious reasons, he is a fool being guided by another fool somewhere.

I am very sure the earliest of preachers of the religions, never ever asked anyone to kill or force. I am sure their teachings, words and advice would have been the most simplistic and sensible. It's the interpretations of those teachings that spoilt it all. If there was separation of classes based on their skills earlier, it became cast differences today resulting in clashes based on nothing! Similarly, I think ‘Jehad” never meant killing innocent people across the world. (I am not well read about this term, but somehow I am confident that it's nowhere near to what it is perceived today by the world). These are just a couple of examples. With the advancing world, religions advanced. Not in a good way!

Today, all the major religions in the world have contradictory views on things. Every person on this planet agrees with one religion and therefore as a protocol has to disagree with the rest of them. Therefore, people of religions different than mine are something I should have sheer disregard for and try and change everyone who believes in it. If they don't agree with me, I ought to feel enraged and as a result should be ready to hate, fight, abuse, kill! The evolution has made us the enemies of each other. What's the point at the end of the day?

It actually hurts to see a person praying for his community alone. It’s SICK to see an educated person to have sympathies for the sufferings of people only belonging to his religion. When violence happens, it hurts everybody.

One can't stick to the principals which were laid down thousands and hundreds of years ago in these times. They need to have amendments, in accordance with the changing times. Let’s face it, we all have difference, however in this rapidly developing world, we all are getting closer with each passing day. We HAVE to learn how to be tolerant towards other religion, every second neighbor of yours will become a problem for you.

At this point, something crops up in my mind. I am perhaps going to beat myself up for the rest of my life, for using this example. (Simply because it’s an instance from a KJo-Shahrukh Khan film, and the duo have seldom come up with anything sensible, till date). In the movie, My Name is Khan, the protagonist’s brother (A Muslim) asks him not to marry a Hindu girl citing reasons that Hindus are very different. At this point, Shahrukh Khan (Whatever his character’s name was) says, “Koi farak nahi hota…achche log, bure log…bas yahi farak hai…aur koi farak nahi”!!! This one sentence does strike a chord with me. Every time I listen to it!

For me, religion is all about respecting the almighty. I, although a negligibly miniscule part of this world, refute each and every religion, for what they all have become! My religion is my faith, and my trust in GOD. At least when I pray, I pray with absolutely no preconceived notions and segregations about the people I am praying for!!!