Friday, September 3, 2010

Beyond "Me and Myself"

How many times have we all read speeches from celebrities claiming they want to give something back to the world.? The moment we read about that, we turn the pages around to check out the juicier gossips and trends. Right?

Well, an instance happened lately, and it changed my behaviour since then. Would like to talk about it, in case there are any readers...because it is one of those "boring" things we prefer to skip reading about.

I was purchasing vegetables from a vendor near my house. A lady came along to buy something. She looked in her fifties. Wizened more so due to her circumstances than her age. She wore a simple saaree and her appearance left nothing to imagine about her humble background. She somehow had a very kind look on her face. I still don't know why I felt so. Anyway, she asked the price for 2 pieces of bottlegourds she picked up. The vendor weighed them and told her it's going to be 20 bucks. She asked him to give her the quantity that might come for 10 bucks. He picked up one piece and gave it to her after which he got interested in weighing the vegetables I had chosen.

She kept staring at that piece and mumbled, "Isse toh jyaada chahiye, yeh kam hai". Then she looked at the vendor and asked him the final price for 2 pieces of the vegetable and he said it will be 15 bucks. She still thought for a while and in a very faint voice requested him to give her 2 pieces of bottlegourd in 10 bucks. The vendor just refuted her plea without even bothering to look at her.

Meanwhile, I kept thinking in my head if I can help her. "It's a matter of 5 Rs. Just buy that stuff for her." "She might get offended thinking I am doing charity" "I can ask the vendor to simply take 5 bucks extra from me" "It's about her meal, she will be able to eat a one time meal if you do it"

May be I felt reluctant about something, I kept on having those thoughts but didn't act. She stood right next to me staring at the vegetables and I, while thinking all these things, was about to pay for my vegetables. Finally, when I took money out of my purse, I decided, "Yes. I am doing it. I have to help her." I look around and don't find her.

I tried looking everywhere and realize that the lady had left the vendor and I saw her faint figure walking away, quite far now, into the shadows of darkness. I forgot everything about paying for my vegetables and kept staring at her. I realized how I failed today in helping a person. I realized while I will be having a nice meal, she somewhere might not be having so, just because she was short of 5 bucks. I didn't know what to do now. If only I could decide quickly. If only I would have not given a damn about what she thought about my act and just played my chances.

I haven't forgotten her figure disappearing into the shadow. I will never be able to do that. I won't be able to forget the fact that it was only about 5 bucks for me. On the other hand, those 5 bucks decided a meal for a person somewhere.

I realized I shouldn't whine about things unnecessarily. Seriously, whatever you have is a blessing because there is someone somewhere who doesn't even have that much.

I also realized, that a small favor from my end can do wonders for others. I don't need to approach an NGO or a high profile institution. All I need to do is to NOT THINK before helping people who are in need. That in itself does the job!