Of Mirrors, Ghajini Effect & Viagra!

There are instances where I can imagine God with a bored face and trying to find out which one of us can He use for a bit of entertainment. No hard feelings, He is the creator after all and He too needs a break once in a while...

So, in one of God's recent stints of entertaining Himself, I would like to describe this incident which happened to me. Read on for more!

I went to an interview. The company was one of India's reputed PR agencies which has an expertise in handling clientèle from the IT sector. So I, went for the interview basking in full fledged confidence, having handled an IT client herself for the past 1.5 years. (Those who know which client it is, shut up. Even if negligibly small, it still IS an IT client).

PHASE 1: THE MIRROR CRASHES!

Before I start...are you guys aware of the situation when you hear a big mirror crashing somewhere in your head, the moment you realize something miserable or horrible about yourself? Well, this interview was a "Mirror Crash" marathon for me.

I sat down, and I was looked upon as if they made a huge mistake by calling me. I was asked, "So what client do you handle in your current job?" And I played my winning card! I told them the IT client I have worked on for more than a year. And she looked at me with a raised eye brow, saying: "That's it, that's the only IT client you have handled?" CRASH!

I was then asked questions like "What's the stock price for Infosys?" "What is the latest on Wipro & TCS Quarterly Results?" "What do you think Cloud Computing is?" "What do they mean by Wave 3 in Indian IT?" CRASH! CRASH! CRASH! & yet another CRASH!

PHASE 2: THE 'GHAJINI' EFFECT

By this time, I'd already realized that I have entered the fight with a small kitchen knife and I have an entire Army in front of me! However, that army decided to torment me instead of going the "mercy killing" way! Hopelessly waiting for my death and meekly trying to regain my ground, I took a deep breath and pulled myself together. However, I might have inhaled something weird in that 'Deep Breath' because I remember things only in bits and pieces from there on. And yes, I suffered from short term memory loss or more commonly known as the "Ghajini" state of mind.

They wanted to check my knowledge in other sectors like Retail, Telecom and Pharma. They simply asked me which are the existing groups in Telecom sector in India. And TRUST ME, I could only say: (after much contemplation that is) 'Airtel?????' Yes the Question marks are apt because that was truly the tone I had! She gave me that "who the fuck called you here" look and then asked,"I just want to know which groups these service providers belong to". I said, "I don't know, I guess Bharti...ummmm...I can't recall right now"!

Then she asked me, what do I know about the Pharma Industry and if I can name a few players...And I just had one name in mind...'Pfizer'. She asked who ARE the competitors and I could only come up with Glenmark. And the worst part was, while dealing with one question after the other, I was still thinking how come I got stuck with the 'Telecom' question. And then, all of a sudden, from nowhere, Vodafone- Essar, Idea- Aditya Birla, Reliance - Dhirubhai Ambani et al started cropping up. So now, I guess, while she asking me questions about Pharma, I was answering her questions about Telecom in my head and wondering how the hell did I forget this basic info in the first place.

PHASE 3: THE ONE WITH VIAGRA IN THE END

Well, seeing my lost look, she must have felt some pity towards me. She tried to give me something I can talk on, so she went back and said, "So, you mentioned Pfizer. You can talk about it. Can you name some products by the brand Pfizer?" And all of a sudden, I, who got overwhelmed seeing her pity towards me, again got lost and tried to remember her question. I remember the voices in my head again going, "Product?" "Pfizer?" "How could you forget Vodafone Essar"? Then all of a sudden, I again took a deep breath (Big mistake, again!) and tried to deal with the present question.

Well, I started thinking. And I almost jumped off my seat because I KNEW the answer! Well almost. I couldn't remember the name. And the Ghajini struggle started. "Come on Suruchi, you know this" ... "Abey tereko pata hai...the one which enhances sexual stamina...what is that drug called?"

Yeah. I remembered the function of that drug but didn't remember the name! I thought of telling the HR that I know the answer but am unable to recall the name. But what would I tell her? The drug that stimulates your hormones and takes care of cases with erectile dysfunction? DAMN! Another answer, which I had to let go despite being so close!

This time she yawned, and asked me what do you know about the retail industry? And I of course didn't hear the question because I was still trying to imagine what the earlier product was. So I hopelessly mumbled something about Pantaloons and Wills Lifestyle. At that very moment, something struck me! "VIAGRA! YOU LOSER HOW COULD YOU FORGET VIAGRA?" Well, Kudos to my memory, I remembered the answer but it was too late, the HR was on the question related to Retail! And things would have really been beautiful had I not yelled "VIAGRA" at the top of my voice the moment it struck me. YES! She asked me something about Retail and I answered VIAGRA!!!

I don't remember what happened after that. It must have been the air of that room which I inhaled. Everything after that is just a blur!

Anyway, the best part of that interview was, I realized where I stand in this fiercely competitive world (Rock Bottom perhaps) and how much I need to work to become one of the knowledgeable ones in the industry. The "Overconfident attitude" was brought back to "New at work, keen to learn" attitude and I haven't stopped thanking GOD for choosing me as His Bakra for that day!

So at the end, I have a few tips for those planning to appear for an interview.

1. PREPARE WELL

2. DON'T OVERESTIMATE YOURSELF

3. DON'T INHALE TOO MUCH OF AIR!