I have always been way too practical and logical about everything. When it comes to celebrating Valentine's day, I had the age old approach to it which explains how it's irrelevant to celebrate this day. You know, the entire - "if you love someone, you love the person everyday, why need a specific day to celebrate it?"
Well, I think I finally have an answer. Celebrate this day, because in an entire year, you deserve to have one day, where you can say, "to hell with the rest of the world, this day is about the one I love."
That's it. You don't have that approach towards love in the rest of 364 days of the year. People, society, office, responsibilities...etc. will surely take enough energy out of you to be that open about your feelings. Life is exhausting. Therefore, it's really great that one single day, you tend to forget everything, keep everything aside and dedicate it to your feelings for someone.
This day is nothing but a break. I think it's nice.
:)
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
"I am over you."
Ever heard of the phenomenon,'Closure'? It's supposed to have different interpretations. I recently learnt,to be happy one has to know how to put a closure to things. i.e. Get over things. Get over people who let you down, get over episodes and events that bog you down, get over feeling etc.
I am a clingy person. I cling to things. To people, to events, to truth, to values. I get too attached. I work very hard to maintain what I have. It's the most unhealthy principle you can load yourself with.
It's easier to get over issues, it's difficult to get over people. Atleast for me, it's been absolutely impossible to forgive or forget people who let me down.
However, no point in feeling hurt. If someone hurts you or lets you down, it's because he/she didn't care enough. Yes, it is THAT simple.
So what do we do to let it go? As Rachel says it in FRIENDS, you get a closure when you do something that helps you finally say, "I am over you."
But we tend to never do it. Our faith in that person or ourselves makes us believe that it could never go wrong. That's when we tend to go in the denial mode. That's when we start getting angry and vengeful. That's when we get hurt.
All I am saying is, be real. Accept that you're not the most important of all for anybody. If you're lucky enough, you will have a person who will stand by you for your entire life, else, just live with the fact, that you expected too much. The moment you decide to stop expecting from that person or situation, you take control of your life all over again.
Next time, you get hurt or betrayed, be proud of the fact that atleast you were the one giving flawless love and attention to someone. It's only because you cared too much and trusted blindly, that the other person was able to break your faith. If you cling on to it, you're giving him the attention that he doesn't deserve.
Finally, just let it be. Things happen. Try to forget. If that's not possible, just leave it behind.
Move on, because even if you decide not to, life will!
I am a clingy person. I cling to things. To people, to events, to truth, to values. I get too attached. I work very hard to maintain what I have. It's the most unhealthy principle you can load yourself with.
It's easier to get over issues, it's difficult to get over people. Atleast for me, it's been absolutely impossible to forgive or forget people who let me down.
However, no point in feeling hurt. If someone hurts you or lets you down, it's because he/she didn't care enough. Yes, it is THAT simple.
So what do we do to let it go? As Rachel says it in FRIENDS, you get a closure when you do something that helps you finally say, "I am over you."
But we tend to never do it. Our faith in that person or ourselves makes us believe that it could never go wrong. That's when we tend to go in the denial mode. That's when we start getting angry and vengeful. That's when we get hurt.
All I am saying is, be real. Accept that you're not the most important of all for anybody. If you're lucky enough, you will have a person who will stand by you for your entire life, else, just live with the fact, that you expected too much. The moment you decide to stop expecting from that person or situation, you take control of your life all over again.
Next time, you get hurt or betrayed, be proud of the fact that atleast you were the one giving flawless love and attention to someone. It's only because you cared too much and trusted blindly, that the other person was able to break your faith. If you cling on to it, you're giving him the attention that he doesn't deserve.
Finally, just let it be. Things happen. Try to forget. If that's not possible, just leave it behind.
Move on, because even if you decide not to, life will!
Friday, January 7, 2011
Religion - As I take it!
"Religion". Those of you reading this, come across this word everyday, a lot of times. For you all, it's just another term we all have learnt to live with. We know it is going to appear in newspapers, in the news channels, very casually. Honor killings, Terror strikes, Riots et al. remind us that we live in the world with many faiths. But then that's it. "Religion", this one term that should have been the most revered one, reverberates in our minds for all the wrong reasons.
For me, on the other hand, this term has deeper meanings. I am not the one chanting verses from The Gita or humming shloks and mantras all the time, yet for me, "religion" will decide the course of my life. I am not happy with it. Anyway, this post is not about my situation.
Talking religion, for me, religion's role should begin and end with 2 words: 'Peace' and 'Spirituality'. That's it. The words mentioned above result in discipline, faith and harmony. Rest of the things: Festivities, rituals, functions, let these be a part of our tradition, our culture. I don't know the nitty gritties of most of the religions around me. What I do know is, if a person is killing others citing religious reasons, he is a fool being guided by another fool somewhere.
I am very sure the earliest of preachers of the religions, never ever asked anyone to kill or force. I am sure their teachings, words and advice would have been the most simplistic and sensible. It's the interpretations of those teachings that spoilt it all. If there was separation of classes based on their skills earlier, it became cast differences today resulting in clashes based on nothing! Similarly, I think ‘Jehad” never meant killing innocent people across the world. (I am not well read about this term, but somehow I am confident that it's nowhere near to what it is perceived today by the world). These are just a couple of examples. With the advancing world, religions advanced. Not in a good way!
Today, all the major religions in the world have contradictory views on things. Every person on this planet agrees with one religion and therefore as a protocol has to disagree with the rest of them. Therefore, people of religions different than mine are something I should have sheer disregard for and try and change everyone who believes in it. If they don't agree with me, I ought to feel enraged and as a result should be ready to hate, fight, abuse, kill! The evolution has made us the enemies of each other. What's the point at the end of the day?
It actually hurts to see a person praying for his community alone. It’s SICK to see an educated person to have sympathies for the sufferings of people only belonging to his religion. When violence happens, it hurts everybody.
One can't stick to the principals which were laid down thousands and hundreds of years ago in these times. They need to have amendments, in accordance with the changing times. Let’s face it, we all have difference, however in this rapidly developing world, we all are getting closer with each passing day. We HAVE to learn how to be tolerant towards other religion, every second neighbor of yours will become a problem for you.
At this point, something crops up in my mind. I am perhaps going to beat myself up for the rest of my life, for using this example. (Simply because it’s an instance from a KJo-Shahrukh Khan film, and the duo have seldom come up with anything sensible, till date). In the movie, My Name is Khan, the protagonist’s brother (A Muslim) asks him not to marry a Hindu girl citing reasons that Hindus are very different. At this point, Shahrukh Khan (Whatever his character’s name was) says, “Koi farak nahi hota…achche log, bure log…bas yahi farak hai…aur koi farak nahi”!!! This one sentence does strike a chord with me. Every time I listen to it!
For me, religion is all about respecting the almighty. I, although a negligibly miniscule part of this world, refute each and every religion, for what they all have become! My religion is my faith, and my trust in GOD. At least when I pray, I pray with absolutely no preconceived notions and segregations about the people I am praying for!!!
For me, on the other hand, this term has deeper meanings. I am not the one chanting verses from The Gita or humming shloks and mantras all the time, yet for me, "religion" will decide the course of my life. I am not happy with it. Anyway, this post is not about my situation.
Talking religion, for me, religion's role should begin and end with 2 words: 'Peace' and 'Spirituality'. That's it. The words mentioned above result in discipline, faith and harmony. Rest of the things: Festivities, rituals, functions, let these be a part of our tradition, our culture. I don't know the nitty gritties of most of the religions around me. What I do know is, if a person is killing others citing religious reasons, he is a fool being guided by another fool somewhere.
I am very sure the earliest of preachers of the religions, never ever asked anyone to kill or force. I am sure their teachings, words and advice would have been the most simplistic and sensible. It's the interpretations of those teachings that spoilt it all. If there was separation of classes based on their skills earlier, it became cast differences today resulting in clashes based on nothing! Similarly, I think ‘Jehad” never meant killing innocent people across the world. (I am not well read about this term, but somehow I am confident that it's nowhere near to what it is perceived today by the world). These are just a couple of examples. With the advancing world, religions advanced. Not in a good way!
Today, all the major religions in the world have contradictory views on things. Every person on this planet agrees with one religion and therefore as a protocol has to disagree with the rest of them. Therefore, people of religions different than mine are something I should have sheer disregard for and try and change everyone who believes in it. If they don't agree with me, I ought to feel enraged and as a result should be ready to hate, fight, abuse, kill! The evolution has made us the enemies of each other. What's the point at the end of the day?
It actually hurts to see a person praying for his community alone. It’s SICK to see an educated person to have sympathies for the sufferings of people only belonging to his religion. When violence happens, it hurts everybody.
One can't stick to the principals which were laid down thousands and hundreds of years ago in these times. They need to have amendments, in accordance with the changing times. Let’s face it, we all have difference, however in this rapidly developing world, we all are getting closer with each passing day. We HAVE to learn how to be tolerant towards other religion, every second neighbor of yours will become a problem for you.
At this point, something crops up in my mind. I am perhaps going to beat myself up for the rest of my life, for using this example. (Simply because it’s an instance from a KJo-Shahrukh Khan film, and the duo have seldom come up with anything sensible, till date). In the movie, My Name is Khan, the protagonist’s brother (A Muslim) asks him not to marry a Hindu girl citing reasons that Hindus are very different. At this point, Shahrukh Khan (Whatever his character’s name was) says, “Koi farak nahi hota…achche log, bure log…bas yahi farak hai…aur koi farak nahi”!!! This one sentence does strike a chord with me. Every time I listen to it!
For me, religion is all about respecting the almighty. I, although a negligibly miniscule part of this world, refute each and every religion, for what they all have become! My religion is my faith, and my trust in GOD. At least when I pray, I pray with absolutely no preconceived notions and segregations about the people I am praying for!!!
Friday, September 3, 2010
Beyond "Me and Myself"
How many times have we all read speeches from celebrities claiming they want to give something back to the world.? The moment we read about that, we turn the pages around to check out the juicier gossips and trends. Right?
Well, an instance happened lately, and it changed my behaviour since then. Would like to talk about it, in case there are any readers...because it is one of those "boring" things we prefer to skip reading about.
I was purchasing vegetables from a vendor near my house. A lady came along to buy something. She looked in her fifties. Wizened more so due to her circumstances than her age. She wore a simple saaree and her appearance left nothing to imagine about her humble background. She somehow had a very kind look on her face. I still don't know why I felt so. Anyway, she asked the price for 2 pieces of bottlegourds she picked up. The vendor weighed them and told her it's going to be 20 bucks. She asked him to give her the quantity that might come for 10 bucks. He picked up one piece and gave it to her after which he got interested in weighing the vegetables I had chosen.
She kept staring at that piece and mumbled, "Isse toh jyaada chahiye, yeh kam hai". Then she looked at the vendor and asked him the final price for 2 pieces of the vegetable and he said it will be 15 bucks. She still thought for a while and in a very faint voice requested him to give her 2 pieces of bottlegourd in 10 bucks. The vendor just refuted her plea without even bothering to look at her.
Meanwhile, I kept thinking in my head if I can help her. "It's a matter of 5 Rs. Just buy that stuff for her." "She might get offended thinking I am doing charity" "I can ask the vendor to simply take 5 bucks extra from me" "It's about her meal, she will be able to eat a one time meal if you do it"
May be I felt reluctant about something, I kept on having those thoughts but didn't act. She stood right next to me staring at the vegetables and I, while thinking all these things, was about to pay for my vegetables. Finally, when I took money out of my purse, I decided, "Yes. I am doing it. I have to help her." I look around and don't find her.
I tried looking everywhere and realize that the lady had left the vendor and I saw her faint figure walking away, quite far now, into the shadows of darkness. I forgot everything about paying for my vegetables and kept staring at her. I realized how I failed today in helping a person. I realized while I will be having a nice meal, she somewhere might not be having so, just because she was short of 5 bucks. I didn't know what to do now. If only I could decide quickly. If only I would have not given a damn about what she thought about my act and just played my chances.
I haven't forgotten her figure disappearing into the shadow. I will never be able to do that. I won't be able to forget the fact that it was only about 5 bucks for me. On the other hand, those 5 bucks decided a meal for a person somewhere.
I realized I shouldn't whine about things unnecessarily. Seriously, whatever you have is a blessing because there is someone somewhere who doesn't even have that much.
I also realized, that a small favor from my end can do wonders for others. I don't need to approach an NGO or a high profile institution. All I need to do is to NOT THINK before helping people who are in need. That in itself does the job!
Well, an instance happened lately, and it changed my behaviour since then. Would like to talk about it, in case there are any readers...because it is one of those "boring" things we prefer to skip reading about.
I was purchasing vegetables from a vendor near my house. A lady came along to buy something. She looked in her fifties. Wizened more so due to her circumstances than her age. She wore a simple saaree and her appearance left nothing to imagine about her humble background. She somehow had a very kind look on her face. I still don't know why I felt so. Anyway, she asked the price for 2 pieces of bottlegourds she picked up. The vendor weighed them and told her it's going to be 20 bucks. She asked him to give her the quantity that might come for 10 bucks. He picked up one piece and gave it to her after which he got interested in weighing the vegetables I had chosen.
She kept staring at that piece and mumbled, "Isse toh jyaada chahiye, yeh kam hai". Then she looked at the vendor and asked him the final price for 2 pieces of the vegetable and he said it will be 15 bucks. She still thought for a while and in a very faint voice requested him to give her 2 pieces of bottlegourd in 10 bucks. The vendor just refuted her plea without even bothering to look at her.
Meanwhile, I kept thinking in my head if I can help her. "It's a matter of 5 Rs. Just buy that stuff for her." "She might get offended thinking I am doing charity" "I can ask the vendor to simply take 5 bucks extra from me" "It's about her meal, she will be able to eat a one time meal if you do it"
May be I felt reluctant about something, I kept on having those thoughts but didn't act. She stood right next to me staring at the vegetables and I, while thinking all these things, was about to pay for my vegetables. Finally, when I took money out of my purse, I decided, "Yes. I am doing it. I have to help her." I look around and don't find her.
I tried looking everywhere and realize that the lady had left the vendor and I saw her faint figure walking away, quite far now, into the shadows of darkness. I forgot everything about paying for my vegetables and kept staring at her. I realized how I failed today in helping a person. I realized while I will be having a nice meal, she somewhere might not be having so, just because she was short of 5 bucks. I didn't know what to do now. If only I could decide quickly. If only I would have not given a damn about what she thought about my act and just played my chances.
I haven't forgotten her figure disappearing into the shadow. I will never be able to do that. I won't be able to forget the fact that it was only about 5 bucks for me. On the other hand, those 5 bucks decided a meal for a person somewhere.
I realized I shouldn't whine about things unnecessarily. Seriously, whatever you have is a blessing because there is someone somewhere who doesn't even have that much.
I also realized, that a small favor from my end can do wonders for others. I don't need to approach an NGO or a high profile institution. All I need to do is to NOT THINK before helping people who are in need. That in itself does the job!
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Because 'Life' is like that!!
One of my friends wrote a nice piece on his views about how people try and personify life. I liked what he wrote. Not only it's a nicely written piece, but also it's true. We all personify life. "Life is good". "Life is bad". "Life is being nice" and "Life is being really mean".
I do it too! And now that I am trying to contemplate what I really feel about it... I think, I personify life because I always feel it's my constant and at times the only companion. I have my debates, arguments, allegations and thanks giving moments with it. Yes, whenever I am alone, contemplating things and introspecting, I feel I am into a conversation with 'life'.
I visualize this entity to be constantly watching all my moves and ready to scold me the moment I goof up. I feel being put to tests by it all the time. I always feel it gives me signals when something is going wrong. The same entity also peps me up when something is going right. When I fail, I talk to it and tell it how I will show it the next time when I do it right! When I succeed, I just talk to it and say, well..."You ought to appreciate me...I was good!"
Well, all in all, I feel I am a much smaller person in front of this being called 'Life'. No matter how much I try, I can't beat it. But it's a friendly comrade of mine. Though a very blunt and strict friend. I try and take its criticism positively and its gifts gratefully. I have always been in awe of 'Life'. I have never won over it. I am still trying...though I know I might never succeed because DAMN that thing is always ahead of me and always always right!
Sunday, August 22, 2010
I am 25 and am HAPPY!
I have seen people freaking out about turning 25. For me, it is bloody fantastic!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Star(e)s in the space!
I love the movie Inception. Thanks to the movie, from now on whenever I find everyone around staring at me, I can just imagine myself being in a dream and not bother that something is obnoxiously wrong with my looks or attire!!
Honest. What is wrong with everyone? Why do people stare so much? Imagine. You are simply crossing Andheri Overbridge and suddenly realize all eyes are on you including a kid or a beggar. DAMMIT! You can't just ignore that moment. You have a firm belief that something has gone drastically wrong with you. You stop in the middle of the crowded bridge try and gauge what's wrong. Listen to everyone cursing you for stopping in between, because it disrupts their speed to reach wherever they are reaching. Waste those precious 10 mins just to find out nothing is wrong! You know how important those 10 mins are? I missed my AC bus today by 1 minute and had to wait for the next one for another 25 mins! And this 'Everyone's staring at me' phenomenon happens way too much with me. Does it happen to you guys as well??? Please let me know, I am turning paranoid!
As such the lost staring look is really a part of my life. I witness it all the time. All of my friends tend to have it on their faces when they are with me. Especially when I talk! So I am used to it, but strangers doing that is weird. And everyone around you doing that is weirder! :-S
And it's not just that. I have been caught in weirdest of confusions earlier. Thanks to our cell phones. People just put on their headphones. (Which you haven't noticed) Then sit at a corner and enter into a very animated conversation on their phone. First they just sit there, staring at you. In a strange and lost way, they just blankly look at you. Obviously the look confuses you. Then, they start to nod, smile and make facial gestures as if they are speaking to you. Why do you get confused because they are bloody staring at you! And after much contemplation about whether you know this person or not, you wave back just to realize he is getting his headphones off and looking at you as if you just violated some rule and must be imprisoned.
I don't know where to go when these stares and looks meet me. To begin with, I am planning to avoid looking at anyone specially in the mornings while commuting to my office. Rest, your suggestions are welcome.
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